Have you ever had that haunting feeling that you have become your mother, or that you sound just like dad? That’s because you probably studied them as you were growing up. You studied their mannerisms, their behavior, the way they spoke, what they did, and said. You may find you even use the same favorite sayings. One parent shared that their dad would say “Don’t do what I do, do what I say.” Some of those old sayings are not really good rules for parenting!
It is important to remember that your children are studying you all the time, even when you are relaxed and having fun on holidays like the 4th of July! Cold drinks and summer fun go together! Alcohol is often in that mix as family and friends gather for a good time. As parents, we can often be challenged as we try to model the behavior we wish to see in our children.
As a parent you are role-model-number-one…the big cheese…what every child longs to be. That’s a sobering thought! This is a good reason why it is especially important for you to be mindful of your own summer fun example.
If you want to make sure your kids learn to have fun without alcohol, then be the parent that can also do that.
If you want your kids to learn about not drinking and driving, by all means, DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE! Not even when you think you are fine and able to drive. They need to see you use good judgement.
Some parents wonder if letting their underage kids drink with them is safer. Step back and think again! Here is the message you are sending by allowing this: that drinking is okay and that breaking the law is okay (legal drinking age in Maine is 21). You are putting yourself in legal jeopardy, by providing alcohol to your child or if you allow your teen’s underage friends to drink. NEVER provide alcohol to someone else’s child! When teens drink and drive they cause accidents. Also, studies show that a developing teen brain can experience life-long challenges from too-early alcohol consumption.
It is possible to model healthy behavior if you choose to enjoy alcohol at summer parties. Be moderate in your consumption of alcohol. You might choose to drink, but not choose to be drunk. Don’t encourage other adults who are drinking too much by passing them off as entertaining and laughing at their behavior. Talk to your kids about healthy social behaviors you want to see in them -- regularly and often. Model those behaviors. Talk about everything with your kids, including drinking alcohol.
This article was brought to you by Health Affiliates Maine. Call 1877-888-4304 for help with parenting, substance use and mental health problems, and other issues which effect families.
