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Question: My aunt watches my kids for me a lot during the summer. I work later than their camps stay open so she picks them up, feeds them dinner and watches them until I pick them up. I am so grateful for her help and don't know what I would do without her or her help. I am worried though that she gives them a lot of sweets when they are with her. I've talked to her about it before but she says it's her right to spoil them. I would agree if she only saw them occasionally but she sees them five days a week. She does give them mostly nutritious dinners but often supplements those with snacks and desserts (yes, desserts with an s!). My kids aren't overweight or anything but I still don't think it's good for them. How can I talk to her again in a way that will sink in and not get the spoiling excuse?
Advocates Answers: It’s wonderful that your kids get to be cared for by extended family while you are at work! Your aunt sounds like a very loving person who is showing her love by giving your kids the food they like. However, you are the parent and ultimately you do get to decide what to feed your children. Generally in situations such as this there is a generational gap; older generations grew up in a time when nutrition wasn’t closely monitored and no one counted calories!
Find a way to have a conversation with your aunt privately and when you have the time to get into the discussion (and make sure your kids are out of earshot). Let your aunt know how much you appreciate her watching your kids during the summer but that the snacks and desserts are still a concern for you. Explain to her how hard you work to keep your kids healthy and give her examples of how the extra sweets are impacting your kids health or behavior (are they hyper when they get home? Is there evidence of tooth decay? Are they asking for more sweets when at home?)
It may be that your aunt doesn’t know what’s available for healthy snack and dessert options. If this is the case you can give her examples of what you feed your kids at home and check out this website for more ideas.
Your aunt may also be unaware of the latest research that warns parents about the dangers of too much sugar for kids, see this article for more.
Your aunt may also be unaware of the latest research that warns parents about the dangers of too much sugar for kids, see this article for more.
Finally, try to negotiate a compromise; perhaps you can send your kids with a healthy ‘after camp snack’ but your aunt gets to serve the kids one (small) dessert after dinner. And remind your aunt that what your kids really love about going to her house is her, not her sugary treats!
